overwhelmed

It's only 9:30 am, and already I am feeling overwhelmed... I guess it's going to be one of those weeks. You know the ones where it seems as though everything hits you all at once, yep thats the one.

I don't know if any of you watched The Secret Millionaire last night but I think that it started all the emotion. It was so inspiring and Ben and I watched and thought wow, we have absolutely nothing to complain about! If you didn't catch the show last night I suggest you hulu it or catch it next sunday night... very inspiring!

Jackson has been having a very hard time with his teacher at school, I won't go into detail but we are just not very happy about his teacher and its a fight every morning to get him to school with a smile on his sweet face. Jackson is a very smart very sensitive boy and can easily pick up on things and can make sense out of things that are going on around him pretty easily, so he has picked up on a few characteristics of his teacher that makes him feel a bit uneasy:( As a mom it makes your heart ache so much and makes you realize that after they are out of your care you start to feel very vulnerable and emotional ... another reason for my emotional drain.

Bens parents were here and suggested a scripture we should share with Jackson and suggested a blessing as well. We sat down with Jackson last night and read Mosiah 24 it basically talks about how Alma and his people were forbidden to pray to god, and there were guards put around them to make sure that this didn't happen, Alma and his people were smarter than that and knew they didn't have to pray outloud to be heard, that god could hear the prayers in their hearts. So we let Jackson know that you don't have to pray outloud for strength he could pray in his heart.

Then Ben gave Jackson the most sweetest comforting blessing, of course I was in tears and Jackson was so happy to hear such comforting words. I am so greatful for the priesthood in my life I am so greatful Heavenly Father blessed us with blessings so that the men in our life can be the voice for him.. Blessings have always been so comforting and I never take them lightly I am so greatful for Ben and what an amazing man he is.

Last night their was a big storm, bigger than anything I have ever seen, if you haven't ever been in the south in a thunder storm.. it is definitely something you should all experience.. very amazing with thunder that shakes your whole house and you can hear it travel through the sky, one of the most incredible things ever witnessed, But with these storms comes 3 little scared boys actually just Grant and Jackson, Lincoln always sleeps right through it which is beyond me how that is even possible when the lightening lights up the sky and the thunder crashes so loud he keeps on sleeping, Jackson leaned over after a while and said "mom I just said a prayer that the storm would stop, so that I can go back to sleep" what a sweet boy he was scared and he took matters into his own hands... one day he WILL be an incredible missionary.

Jackson woke up with a fever and Linc has been acting like he doesn't feel very good. It really frustrates me when Monday my kids wake up sick! I have so many things I need to do! Oh well I guess that is just a day in a life as a mom, makes me want to cry, kick and scream when my plans get ruined .....sacrifice sacrifice sacrifice.....

As I get older and my friends get older and their kids get older it seems like I feel so much more uneasy, I have been hearing things of people I know that their kids have tumors, or other kinds of life problems... another reason I am emotional today, I like to feel like I am in control, and when I am reminded that I am not it is scary and I like most people don't like to feel so vulnerable! My kids have had fevers and seems like they haven't felt good since the winter hit. I am not sure if it is the fluctutation on crazy weather or what but this is another reason I am emotional... I don't know what to do with my boys, I just keep hoping and praying that they will feel good soon.

Sorry this is a novel I obviously had some things on my mind:)

So back to the beginning... we all have things to complain about but in the grand scheme of things.... there is always much worse! I hope one day I will have enough resources to go out and help people, this has always been one of my dreams and goals and my hearts aches for the day that I am able to do this, I can't wait!!! I love putting a smile on people's faces one smile at a time for now hopefully one day it will be villages at a time!!!

on a side note I was in need of a pick me up I am a very visually, and smell and sound stimulated kind of a girl, so I picked up some body wash and lotion from bath and body works its called carried away, go get some it takes you away!!